Wrapping up 2013

As it's been several months since I posted I thought  nice "wrapping up the rest of 2013" post would be nice. 

I think the biggest, and most unexpected, piece of the last months of 2013 was that TJ got a job! I ended up applying to 75+ positions, had around 5 interviews and didn't get a job. He applied, in total, to around 4 jobs, had one interview and got the job! 

He is physically able to do the work and enjoys the work and the schedule. The schedule will also allow him to continue with school at night, though he'll cut back on classes next semester as he adjusts to working again. 

We see this unexpected position as the Lord's leading and continue to trust Him for our provision.

In other news, Ethan turned 4 in December! He's starting to become interested in the alphabet and numbers and is willing to draw a bit too. He's great at taking things apart and loves to think about how things work. He also has learned how to hang upside down on the trampoline bar, oh my. He's a great big brother and we love him bunches!!

I started a small home business later in the year as well, The Sherwin Homestead (www.thesherwinhomestead.com). I'm making natural lip balm and vanilla extract right now with hopes to add more products later. I'm also hoping to gather all the other local home crafters into one website and be a referral network of sorts.

Here are some photos from the last months of the year...

Ethan rarely takes naps during rest time these days but fell asleep curled up in his chair. So sweet!

Elsie decided the bathtub was the best place to read a book! She loves the bathtub and water!!

One of my tubes of homemade lip balm.

After TJ went back to work I rearranged the house a bit. Probably should have waited till I could round up helpers because I got this dresser stuck at the bottom of the stairs!

Ethan chose his birthday cake this year. Christmas tree it was!

We had a large snowfall and the kids enjoyed discovering snow.

Elsie loves the swing! She says "more weeeeeee!!!!"

I was able to get together with high school friends for a nice visit.

My Christmas cactus bloomed this year! This means I was a) able to keep it alive and b) able to keep it alive enough to bloom! This gave me much hope.

Elsie spent Christmas Eve dressed just like this...pretty dress and pink rubber boots! :)

Our latest family photo.

A Changing Perspective...

Hallo everyone,

The last time I posted was in June. What can I say about the months of July, August and September? Hard. Painful. Sad. Depressed. Long. Heavy. Dark. I feel like I didn't see the summer this year walking through the haze. In June, when I last posted, I had just begun my search for employment. I was devastated at the thought of having to go back to work full time. I cried a lot and felt sad. But God comforted my heart and I buckled down and applied for jobs and waited for interviews. And waited. And applied. And waited. And applied. And waited. And nothing. At the end of June TJ lost his short term disability payments as well, which left us without any income (or savings etc).

Fast forward through a lot of hard days to mid-September. I got a job interview for a job that was a great fit, good pay and even had big sunny windows! I went, felt like I really clicked with everyone and was certain I had a good chance at the job. And then got an email saying someone else had been chosen. Oh how that hurt! Oh how that hurts now. And at that point I lost hope. I lost the hope that things will get better. I lost hope that we'll continue to keep our home, that we won't have to declare bankruptcy, lost hope that I'll ever get work or that we'll ever get off government benefits. A lot of people on my facebook page were very encouraging and uplifitng, but when that feeling enters your soul it's hard and painful and feels very solid. All I saw were months ahead of waiting without hope of work to be followed with an auction and foreclosure and being homeless again. Sigh.

(Now, as a long aside here, I'll also say at no point have I lost my faith in God. I believe there is a good God whose Son is Jesus, whose Spirit walks through all of life with me. I am never and will never be alone. Ever. Now whether I think because I believe in this God I am guaranteed to have a roof over my head or food on the table...well, that one I'm still working out, though I lean heavily toward "no, no guarantees of anything" outside the Spirit bringing comfort and rest for my soul.  Onward with the story...)

And yet. Yet! Isn't that a lovely word. Depressed and hopeless not withstanding I've been trying to maintain our normal routines and schedules and activities, so when a new Bible study started at one of the local churches I went. And I'm so thankful I did. We are going through Priscilla Shirer's study on the life of Gideon. And through the study and time in the Word my perspective is slowly changing.Whether it is the study, my time in the Word or the Spirit bringing comfort to my heart, I am seeing things differently.

First, I've been asking myself a new question: "What if I could have a fast forward button on my life. Let me fast forward three years down the road. TJ is done with school now and I'm looking back at this time. What will I wish I had done? What will I "kick" myself for not doing?" Well, for one, I will want to kick myself for not doing all the little projects that I didn't have time to do once I started working. I have scrapbooks and sewing projects and learning projects galore that could be getting done right now. We have carpet to tear out and steps to repair and landscaping to do. The garden needs attention and our yard needs mowed. And plenty more besides.

Secondly, I've been reminded that the best preparation for the future is to seek and serve God right now, right where I am at in whatever season I find myself. What opportunities do I have right here to be serving the Lord? Well I think the most obvious and pressing is that 1) by keeping my walk with the Lord fresh I then 2) have the means to minister to my hurting husband and 3) the grace to raise my children in the Lord. What good am I anywhere else if I'm not focused on my family first?

Thirdly, I'm learning that preparation for the future isn't just about what I can do. It's also about what others are doing for us. Instead of "kicking against the goads" and feeling bad that we need help I can embrace this season and praise God for teaching us a deeper gratitude and dependency on our brothers and sisters in Christ. I can embrace the fact that we need help and can't do it all on our own. I can embrace the fact that the Lord has allowed the door to work to stay closed for so long, and trust that it is for His ultimate benefit. I can embrace asking for help and be thankful for those who God has blessed to give and to be able to give. I can be thankful that others are blessed to be a blessing because the Lord has allowed hardship into our life. 

Overall, I'm learning that instead of writhing around uncomfortably during this season I can embrace it, rest in in, and learn what I can, praising God for allowing this season. Am I diligently applying to work? Yes. Am I trying to manage the money we receive well? Yes. Today, is there anything else I should be doing? Yes...then do the next best thing, and after doing it, rest. Rest in the knowledge that God is allowing this and could stop it at any time. I can enjoy this time with my family and soak in the minutes we have together. I can be glad to have time to finish the projects I haven't had time for until now. It's ok to be glad. I don't have to feel bad for having joy in our trials. 

Through this all TJ and I have been feeling two things regarding our present and future: 1) We are currently right where we are supposed to be (and there's a whole other lesson of learning to be content in that) and 2) We would like to move to Germany when this time in Ohio closes.

Germany! This is the first I'll say it in public, though it's been growing on our hearts for several years now. One opportunity might be to serve at the Black Forest Academy (BFA -http://bfacademy.com/) in Kandern, Germany. Their site says, "BFA serves the children of international Christian workers and international business families who want a North American curriculum that incorporates a Christian worldview. BFA has an enrollment of approximately 310 students, with about 50% of the 7^th-12^th grade students in the residential boarding program." It is one option we are looking at as we seek where the Lord is leading us.

Whew! This was a long update with no pictures! Elsie is awake now from her nap which means my computer time is at a close. Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, gifts and love. We are so thankful for each of you.

(PS: Just want to note this - after 8 months of TJ being off work, five months of reduced pay and three months of no pay I think it speaks strongly to God's provision in our life that all our bills are current and paid, mortgage and line of credit included. Isn't that amazing! Praise the Lord!! In the interest of full disclosure, I will say that we do have one credit card that has been unpaid for about a year and a half, but that was unrelated to the current situation and just one of those hard "something has to give" decisions. I'm hoping that when I find work it will pay enough to cover all our bills and have extra to start paying down student loans!)

Summer is Here!

Greetings!

Summer has arrived here in the Northwest corner of Ohio. Here's a an odds and ends update on our life these past months.

First, TJ has been off work since mid-February with a back injury. The short story is that before Christmas Ethan jumped on his back. The pain from that healed, but his job was very physical(like moving 500 lb sheets of steel 8 - 10 hrs a day by hand), so he's always been sore. In March, he went to a local chiropractor covered by our insurance who adjusted him incorrectly. He has been off work since recovering, very very slowly, from a tear in the anterior longitudinal ligament and other fancy medical terms. He takes lots of drugs, does stretching, did physical therapy, and rests a lot. In the beginning he walked with a cane and couldn't lift more than about  six lbs without much grimacing. Now he can walk without the cane, lift close to fifteen lbs and have parts of days without pain drugs. The specialist reminds him that progress is progress, no matter the speed. We receive short term disability payments and the Lord has provided for the gaps. 

Early March - it took some doing to stand up again after sitting like this. A month later he entered therapy and was told not to sit up straight like this. 

Lots of rest. The cat has enjoyed this greatly.

"I know I'm not supposed to be sitting here like this, but dog-gon-it, this is my little girl, and I'm going to play with her!"

Photo by Ethan - We found that nice old fashioned cane at a local antique store.

The cane did come in handy sometimes. :)

The Lord blessed us with a new firm mattress. The mattress we had was killing even my back. It has been so nice seeing TJ get out of bed in the morning with minimal groans.

Making progress! TJ is standing without his cane and can hold Elsie now for several minutes at a time. This was a photo with his parents on our front porch on their first visit to our home!

He is also starting to get back to doing small projects around the house. This is huge because he's had months of going stir crazy sitting around. 

No more cane, even on long walking journeys now!

This is the fourth month now he's been off work, and the recovery is by inches. At the last visit to the specialist she advised TJ to find a new line of work that is not so physical. She would not commit to any type of lifting ability in the long term. He has found a degree he could get locally that seems to be what he's been doing, but with the option to be less physical (and get paid more). At our specialist visit next week we'll run it by the doctor and try to get her to nail down some range of numbers/ability levels as far as long term recovery goes. 

We are living day by day, but we do have to give thought to our future. We can't continue to live on his disability payments and he can't go back to work yet, and we don't know how long it will be till he can. But he wants to - oh my, does he ever want to! "Life is hard, and it doesn't get easier." We'll do what we need to do to survive, knowing God walks through this with us, no matter what our circumstances. For that we are very thankful. 

On the bright side, TJ finished his first Bible read through in five months! He is hoping to complete another read through before Christmas and is halfway through Genesis. 

And now for the fun updates! 

We'll start with Elsie. She is growing leaps and bounds. She has quite the repertoire of words now including water, mommy, daddy, grandma, tractor, Thomas, more, no, lawn mower, and cracker. I think she has 15 - 20 words now she uses regularly and is a sponge for learning new words and concepts. 

She is very determined, knows what she wants and goes for it. She often begins by saying "no! no!" before she does something she is not supposed to do. Elsie loves playing with her big brother and spending time outside. She loves to snuggle and cuddle and get kisses too.

Pure Elsie - covered in toys and happy as can be. The chicken in this photo is now a must have fixture in her crib. She has a stuffed puppy that travels with her in the car.

She loves riding the farm vehicles.

A moment of cuddling with big brother.

She loves to move and the swing is perfect for that!

We live on a corner lot and she loves to get up on the step-stool and watch the cars, lawn mowers, trucks and tractors.

She LOVES eating. She generally eats more food each day than her brother. She's happy to dig into anything and get dirty in the process. This is true in the garden also...but I don't think I have any photos of her after eating dirt. :)

Elsie also loves being held. She does not appreciate being put back down on the ground. She also does not appreciate waiting for anything. We see this face often.

Elsie LOVES her daddy! She can also say "shoes" and does so every time she takes one off.

Satisfied with herself for climbing into brothers seat during a rare break in the car.

Excited face! What is that on the floor! Oooooooo!

She has been toddling now for about a month, growing more stable each passing day. In the background you can see my parents putting up a new fence they blessed us with. Very soon our whole yard will be fenced in and the kids can play with all freedom! Because we live at such a busy intersection we have to keep our eyes on them very closely to make sure they don't go near the road.

This little video is of Elsie at 16 months walking, climbing, and asking for water ("wa-wu"). 

Now on to Ethan!

Ethan is now 3 1/2 years old. He is looking very much like a "big boy" to me - taller now and growing out of the "little boy" stage. He LOVES the outdoors. If he could stay outdoors all day I think he would. He loves riding his bike with training wheels, going to see "old tractors," doing anything handy with his daddy, and riding on trains.

He is not fond of getting dirty, does not enjoy learning letters or reading too many books and does not appreciate Elsie's loud crying. There are times in the car when they are both crying - Elsie because she wants out of her seat and Ethan because Elsie is "too loud." :) Ethan is  concerned that things are as they should be - lights should be turned off when we leave the room, doors should be closed, car door locked, etc.

Ethan has a tender heart and is currently in a shy stage, even with grandparents. He also has entered a whiny part of life, but is learning that he doesn't get what he wants when the request is presented in such a way. We are thinking of enrolling him in swim lessons this summer as he is no longer fearful of water.

Ethan was excited for a visit from his Oregon Aunt Tina! And he was doubly excited when Aunt Tina gave him a shiny new red truck and treated him to an ice cream cone!

Posing by our newly tilled garden plot. The string barriers helped him remember what was path and what was garden before the plants grew larger. 

Helping mommy dig out the garden pathways.

Going fishing with daddy!

Ethan got to attend A Day Out With Thomas and ride the train. His Aunt Irma got him a big Thomas balloon and drink cup too. They had a lot of great activities for the kids and it was a well done event.

Taking a break on grandma's lawn mower.

Ethan is our little helper. He is always ready to lend a helping hand and we try to always encourage him in this. Here he is helping grandma carry the water bucket. (And note TJ in the background walking so nicely!)

"Mommy! I am helping you!" I was laying straw in the garden beds and he was using the snow shovel to move the straw to his play structure. I said "thank you!!" :D

My sweet boy.

Riding the train with daddy.

In the last week I gave Ethan a haircut and he just looks so much older to me now. Look at those eyes!

A nice profile shot.

Doesn't he just melt your heart. There is a bit of his shy look in this photo.

As for me, I'm generally hanging in there. My largest project has been the garden. I'm also studying a bit of german by myself and some sign language with the kids. My biggest challenge is keeping my kitchen and shower clean. We don't have a dishwasher and I do a lot of home cooking. If you come to visit us, expect dirty dishes! :)

Posing with the kids on our front porch.

Out for a walk on a sunny spring day.

We have great neighbors! When she saw we were taking family photos on the porch she walked across the street and asked if I'd like to be in the photo too! :)

At the zoo on veterans (and families) get in free day!

The finished new-to-us fence on the long side of our yard. This connects to a shed/garage.

We have lots and lots of onions. Lots!

I love sprouts!!

Eventually I plan for the whole garden to look like this - newspaper over the bed, covered by straw, with cardboard lining the pathways. We were blessed with straw!

Pepper and tomato beds. At last count we have over 30 tomato plants. :D

Ethan helping measure the yard. The second garden plot in the background was tilled out generously by one of my friends from high school. TJ's parents brought us enough plants to fill a whole new garden, so we added another!

Our little village has a town-wide garage sale each year. This year I was able to get the missing pieces of my grandmother's china set, as well as a few new pieces.

I'm learning to make kombucha. I can get the taste right but have not yet mastered the fizz. But I'll keep on trying, because the fizz is the best part!

Thanks for catching up on our life! 

If you would like to pray for us you can always pray for wisdom and that we will grow closer to the Lord each day. We are thankful for the Lord's provision and tender care of our souls. Blessings to you each, Cheryl